My ten favorite Madonna singles! My ten favorite Madonna singles! After the jump! After the jump!
I’ve made a list of my favorite Madonna singles every time she’s put out a new album since Ray of Light a decade ago, and with Hard Candy about a month away I figured it was time to get the countdown rolling again.
Here’s my top 50 of her 70 or so singles. For you technical people, I’m counting anything that was officially released in the US or the UK. Dear Jessie and Fever qualify even though they weren’t US singles; Nobody Knows Me and Impressive Instant don’t because, although they were big club hits, they weren’t radio singles.
I’ll try to keep the commentary to a minimum until the end.
50. Borderline (1984, #10)
2005 rank: 40
49. Hanky Panky (1990, #10)
2005 rank: 43
48. Four Minutes (2008, n/a)
47. Crazy For You (1985, #1)
2005 rank: #20
46. Dear Jessie (1990, #5 (UK only))
2005 rank: –
45. Everybody (1982, didn’t chart)
2005 rank: –
44. Keep It Together (1990, #8)
2005 rank: #38
43. Fever (1993, didn’t chart)
2005 rank: 36
42. Frozen (1998, #2)
2005 rank: 48
41. Rescue Me (1991, #9)
2005 rank: 46
It’s hard comparing 4 Minutes (which I’ve heard less than ten times) to a song like Borderline, which I’ve heard pretty much every day since I was three. But whatever. These days some of her songs–Borderline and Crazy For You especially–sound cheesy and dated, and not in a good way. Crazy For You was always one of my favorites, but that synthesized clarinet thing is too much for me to handle lately. The bloopy noises in Everybody, on the other hand, compensate for the rest of the production on that song, so it makes the list this time around. I’ve also come to like Rescue Me more–it’s less of a Justify My Love clone than I thought, and I actually like the way her Pet Shop Boys-esque talk-rapping in the verses jars with the divalike antics in the chorus.
Filed under: music | Tags: Boston, Dean Wareham, Last night on the Mass Pike
In other news, went to Boston on Thursday to see Dean Wareham read from his new tell-all. Got lost on the way (as is my way with Boston) and ended up missing the reading, but got to the Brookline Booksmith in time to buy a copy and get it signed. He seems like a nice guy, and I might even say I’d put him higher up than #14 if I remade my list of Musicians I Want To Hang Out With.
Anyway, then we went to the noodle place in Coolidge Corner, which was a letdown, and then Finale for dessert. That would have been fine, except that on the right we had a couple that was in the process of separating and on the left we had a girl was incredibly annoying, in that way I’m not sure how to explain where she really loudly refused to order on the grounds that everything sounded she couldn’t possibly decide. The separating couple kept talking about working and deadlines and saying things like “Well if I show up alone my family will talk,” and, mysteriously, “But you didn’t even care about the bunny party, and that was more your family than mine.”
That couple left (without finishing their drinks or dessert) and were replaced with a couple that fed each other, drew cutesy smiley faces in the caramel, and talked about how civilization was deteriorating because everybody suddenly had goatees and tongue rings.
Oh, Boston!
Anyway, after dessert we went to Cambridge to find the opening party for the Boston Underground Film Festival, which we eventually managed to go after an hour and a half of riding around, stopping for directions, deciding if it was worth bothering, wanting to die, etc. The party wasn’t exactly hopping, but it was fun enough. There was a $10 cover, which we didn’t have on us, so we went looking for an ATM. We walked around three floors of the Charles Hotel–which has the same carpeting as the condo my aunt lived in in 1987, by the way–only to discover that the ATM was right next to the club entrance. But by the time we went to pay they weren’t charging a cover anymore, so it all worked out.
We met a girl named Margaret from Worcester who said we had the best facial hair at the party. We also talked to some people we thought might have been swingers, and gazed with wonder at some guy wearing a shirt that said “RAD SEX” and had a 69 on the back (plus a Playboy Bunny hat!) The DJ put on Cristina’s version of Is That All There Is? and nobody was dancing (except the RAD SEX guy), so we tried dancing but as soon as we did the DJ changed the music.
Then we came home, which was very tiresome. I don’t want to die falling asleep at the wheel on 95 at three in the morning, but I feel like it’s bound to be my downfall. Boston’s about 45 minutes away from my house, but between going there, getting lost, and driving home, we listened to Tracey Thorn’s album in its entirety eight times. Which is fine because it’s a great album, but still.
I got a new camera last week. It’s a Nikon D40, which is the entry-level digital SLR. They’re about to get scarce with the recent introduction of the D60, but I’m pretty happy with this one. Haven’t had a chance to take many pictures yet, though–went to the park the other day and got some, and I’ve been playing with it around the house to check the different settings and whatnot. I’ll post some here when I take any interesting ones.
I need to give myself a project to work on. I had one idea–because I’m really into mathematical portraiture, I wanted to do a series called Pissing Contest and take pictures of people from every state peeing, with the number of pee-ers from each state determined by that state’s number of votes in the electoral college.
That, of course, was a wildly impractical idea, especially since I’m almost twenty-seven and I’ve only ever been to, um, ten states. But I’ll think of something soon, hopefully…
Anyway, this is the first camera I’ve had since the fall, when I lost both my beloved old Pentax K1000 and my Nikon point-and-shoot on the same day. Also, both of them had been presents from friends who had recently moved away. I kind of wanted to die.
Filed under: books
Part of the reason why I haven’t been posting lately is that there’s been a lot of talk about prostitution in the news lately, and I have some thoughts about the subject that I haven’t gotten around to actually articulating. But then I realized that everybody and their baby’s mother is posting blogs about prostitution and I’ve come to realize that prostitution is one of those subjects like abortion or religion where everybody’s really worked up about it and thinks they’re right, and all the discussion is totally boring because nobody’s ever going to change their mind.
So I thought I’d talk about the books I’ve been reading lately instead.
Generally when I read I try to mix things up–if I’m reading short stories, I’ll follow it up with non-fiction, or I’ll switch back and forth between music criticism and teen novels. Lately I’m in a little bit of a rock-and-ethnicity rut, though.
I’ve got one story left in The Deportees, Roddy Doyle’s book of stories about what it means to be Irish in an age when–for the first time ever, pretty much–people from other countries are moving into Ireland and not the other way around. Some of the stories are really good–like the title story, which is basically a sequel to The Commitments and which has Jimmy Rabbitte starting a new group, this time a bunch of immigrants who do Woody Guthrie songs. Other stories aren’t good at all; I hated the one about the guy who’s hired by the government to come up with a test to measure Irishness. I liked the ghost story and thought the one about a black Irish grad student in New York was kinda so-so. So, we’ll see how it ends.
Before that I read Let’s Talk About Love: A Journey To The End Of Taste, where Quebecois writer Carl Wilson tries in vain to become a Celine Dion fan. It’s really interesting, and made me at least understand a little bit about what Ms Dion is like–like, for instance, she’s turning 40 this year, which means she was only 29 when My Heart Will Go On came out and only 23 when she sang Beauty and the Beast. And here I would have assumed she was at least fifty by now.
Before that I think the last book I read was Sway, Zachary Lazar’s sorta-novel about Mick Jagger and Kenneth Anger and Bobby Beausoleil, the guy that committed the first of the Manson Family murders. It was really good, although, since I know almost nothing about any of those people, I’m not sure where the novel part is and what’s factual. Just to see, when I finished the book I went to the video store and rented Invocation of My Demon Brother, which is the Anger movie Mick Jagger starred in.
I got a call from the video store on Friday–at least a month later–that I still haven’t returned it. I keep thinking I’ll bring it back as soon as I actually watch it, but, um, I keep not watching it.
Sometimes the best blogs are the ones with no superfluous info. They come, they happen, and they stop. And they’re done.
As is well documented, I’m a big fan of lists and countdowns, so I was naturally excited to stumble upon The Top 100 Pop Songs of All Time Blog the other night. Six or seven songs get posted a day, and the person making it–who posted no biographical information but who I’m guessing is a Dutch teenaged boy based on his song choices–has no commentary except for one line from each song.
So far, he’s already listed my favorite Shocking Blue single (Send Me A Postcard), my favorite ABBA single (Bang-A-Boomerang), and maybe my favorite Pulp single (Disco 2000.) Also some of my favorite songs by Edison Lighthouse, Teach-In, Crowded House, the Divine Comedy, The Cowsills, and Tommy Roe. And a lot of people I’ve never heard of, all of whom are pretty good!
The list aligns with my tastes enough that I think it’s really cool while also being totally unpredictable. In fact, of the sixty-something songs he’s counted down so far, I only have one complaint. Seriously, dude–Doo Wah Diddy Diddy?
Filed under: music
Thanks to that last great bastion of hard-hitting reporting–the AIM Welcome Screen–I learned last night that the folks at Spinner have come up with their list of 20 Songs About Hookers. Judging from the commentary, it seems more like a list of the “First 20 songs about hookers the Spinner staff could think of, many of which even they don’t seem to like very much, most of which are twenty to forty years old but which also includes those Arctic Monkey cats tthat the kids seem to dig these days.” Oddly, it doesn’t claim to be a list of the 20 best or most interesting or catchiest songs about hookers, but it is presented in a countdown format, so, I don’t know, make of that what you will.
Anyway, here’s the list. I should point out that I only actually know nine of the songs, and only particularly like four of them. But at least Roxanne’s not at the top of the list. That song annoys the hell out of me.
And, as is the internet way, the whole thing’s also spotted with comments that make me want humanity to end. Like this fool:
Not only were there famous songs “about” hookers, there were also famous songs “by” hookers. Sk*nk wh*res like madonna and britney “psycho” spears have been pumpin out human waste like an underground sewer-pipe.
And this one (about Rancid):
Who R These people?
And this one:
Oh come on ya’ll “Mexican Blackbird” is a hallmark song in the definitative old school blues/rock style that ZZ Top made famous. And if you lived in Texas you’ld know there is nothing politically incorrect about it – it’s just another great song built on fact. Now come on and lets “drive that old Chrysler down to Mexico boys”! So you guys can lighten up and have some fun!!!
I don’t know about you, but I love really great songs built on facts.
20. Donna Summer, Bad Girls
19. Cheap Trick, He’s A Whore
18. Nick Gilder, Hot Child In The City
17. Rancid, Tenderloin
16. Hall and Oates, Family Man
15. Spinal Tap, Sex Farm
14. AC/DC, What You Do For Money Honey
13. ZZ Top, Mexican Blackbird
12. Louis Prima/David Lee Roth, Just A Gigolo
11. Bobbie Gentry/Reba McEntire, Fancy
10. The Ramones, 53rd & 3rd
9. Arctic Monkeys, When The Sun Goes Down
8. The Pretenders, Money Talk
7. Tom Waits, Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis
6. The Police, Roxanne
5. Billy Joel, Roberta
4. Bruce Springsteen, Candy’s Room
3. Lou Reed, Walk On The Wild Side
2. The Animals, House of the Rising Sun
1. LaBelle, Lady Marmalade
