I know you’re probably bored to death with hearing about my computer woes. To update: I mostly use the internet at work, or at my boyfriend’s studio. I don’t have any internet at home and my home computer is from 1947.
What this means is that I never look at internet porn anymore; or, sometimes I do, but mostly it’s really furtive and quick. But today, after fighting what is sadly not the worst hangover in recent memory, I have been looking at dirty pictures on the internet ALL DAY LONG. Because my boyfriend is in Mexico and I borrowed his laptop, and because one of my neighbors has a really strong wireless signal all of a sudden.
Victory is mine!
If you’d like to know what I’ve been doing all day, check out my porny tumblr, Naked Pictures Of Your Dad, on which I’ve posted no less than twenty times today.
Filed under: personal
My life is very boring right now. I’m still shaking off last night’s hangover, but on the bright side my neighbors upgraded their wireless, or something, because I’m on the internet at home for the first time in about a month. Hurraysies!
Anyway, you probably don’t care about my sex life, but whatever. There a survey after the jump, so you don’t have to see any dirty words if you don’t want to. It’s about first times and it’s terribly unexciting, but it was also an excuse to post one of my favorite-ever punk songs.
[meme found in a few nplaces, but copied from The Seduction of Infidelity]
Last week I watched the next-to-last episode of ABC’s True Beauty, the show where a famous white person from yesteryear (Cheryl Tiegs) and a prissy gay black man (not Cheryl Tiegs) and a mildly familiar-looking host (Vanessa Minnillo, who also isn’t Cheryl Tiegs) all conspired to choose a truly beautiful person, who would win a bunch of crap including an appearance in the Beautiful People issue of People (I’m assuming in an Oil of Olay ad or something and not on the beautiful people list itself.)
Last night was the finale; I was going to look online today to see who won but couldn’t remember the name of the show, or what network it was on, or anything else about it, really. But it turns out that Julia won; she was a beauty queen from Texas and seemed nice and a lot more normal than you’d expect from a beauty queen Texan reality show contestant. Second place was Joel Rush, a male model from Florida who was just as douchyand annoying as you’d expect from a Floridian male model named Joel Rush.
But anyway, since he’s a male model the internet’s jam-packed with pictures of him flapping his armpits and wearing generic-looking but probably very expensive underwear. It’s what every male model ever is subjected to, for some reason, and I can never figure out why. See:
This is the best of a dul, dull lot of pictures.
Personally, I was hoping that Billly Jeffrey would win; he’s a Chippendale’s dancer who owns his own vitamin store in Idaho, and he seemed like the most likable of the contestants. But, you know, it’s a terrible show that I saw once, so I’m not too upset about him placing third.
Filed under: music
Last week Ireland chose their entry for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. Despite the fact that I actually liked Dustin The Turkey‘s song from last year, I think they made a better choice this time with Sinead Mulvey and Black Daisy’s Et Cetera.
I’m planning my birthday party around the Eurovision finals this year. I’m not quite sure how, exactly, but I’m determined to make it happen.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Today
michael phelps 2009 chest hair
republica band
naked nerd
sheer singer german
Yesterday
white town your woman
co ed naked hockey t shirts
“some old man fishin”
welsh couple
Sunday
the dirty picture show
ting tings are you calling me burt?
“group shower” boner
fucked someone from craigslist
older man pissing
Saturday
toxic thing hersh
alicia keys gets drunk
pop a boner
“erin markey”
gay men with nice thighs
Friday
vanilla sky soundtrack
pop boner
joe rogan tattoos
there’s no telling where the money went
ugliest people ever!
Thursday
joe rogan he got rocked
horrible tattoos
nakedhousekeeping.co.uk
dad naked
Wednesday
joe rogan high
i feel a little poke comin through
tell the truth you never wanted me, tell
ale lorenzo expose
hookers+malta
jock boy
Filed under: Uncategorized
I don’t think this needs any further comment…
[via DYFL]
As today is Mardi Gras, the last twenty-four hours of debauchery before Catholics fall into their lenten somberness, I thought I’d introduce you–specifically those of you that don’t live in Rhode Island–to the Awful Awful.
‘”It’s A Drink.”‘ That’s the tagline written on the cups of the delicious, delicious beverage. Though it only barely has the consistency of a beverage. It’s made out of ice cream–it comes in lots of flavors–along with some syrup and some ice and maybe some heavy cream or something, I’m not really sure. And it’s delicious. And it’s deliciously wonderful if you had too much fun last night and can barely hold your head up.
The drink, which is almost but not quite a milkshake, is only available at Newport Creamery; luckily one of the chain’s twelve locations is just a few blocks from my house. Luckily because oh my God am I in pain right now. Last night I drank almost a half-bottle of rum before I went out, and the night ended with drag queens pouring De Kuyper products down my throat.
So now I’m drinking an Awful Awful (vanilla, so as not to upset my stomach any more than is absolutely necessary) and listening to Marianne Faithfull. Hopefully that’ll help a little.
Filed under: hot
Completely unrelated to my Hillshire Farm post last week, a friend just introduced me to one of the most fascinating websites I’ve ever seen. Cliff Muskiet’s Stewardess/Flight Attendant Uniform Collection features over eight hundred different uniforms from the mid-sixties to today, representing almost three hundred and forty seven different airlines. (Three hundred and forty seven!)
The best uniforms come from the super-luxurious Braniff line, which mainly served the southwest US and Latin America; Pucci designed flight attendant uniforms from the late sixties through the mid-seventies, before being replaced by Halston dresses in 1977. For his original collection, since Jetways weren’t around yet, Pucci designed clear helmet-like domes for stewardesses, so that they could travel from plane to airport without ruining their hairdos. The color explosion above, with a crazy guitar pattern and matching tights and hat, is from their 1966 line, while the blue number is from the early seventies.
When the Dallas-based Braniff folded in 1982, they were serving fifty-four cities with their eighty-two plane fleet. The seats were made by Herman Miller, Andy Warhol and Salvador Dali featured in the airline’s print ads, and even Alexander Calder painted two Braniff planes in the seventies.
But there’s hours worth of uniform-ogling to be had at Muskiet’s site, uniformfreak.com. Each piece is painstakingly photographed–you can tell a lot of effort went into this–and I’m hoping that the Dutch steward plans to open a museum with his collection. And there’s also a lot to be learned about airlines, too; did you know that Hooters ran its own airline? Or that there was a company called Precision Air in Tanzania? (Hooters Air, incidentally, issued surprisingly conservative–even boring–uniforms to its flight attendants.)
After the jump, some of my favorites:
Filed under: music
I didn’t realize when I wrote my last post that Chris and Neal have just done a remix of Lady GaGa’s Disney-ish Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say). It’s the song of the day over on Popjustice, although they’ll only play forty seconds of it for you. And those forty seconds are, um, pretty much exactly what you’d expect from forty seconds of the Pet Shop Boys playing over a Disney-ish Lady GaGa song. Hypothetically awesome, until you actually hear it.
Because the record industry makes the career of Lady GaGa as complicated as possible, Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) is the current single in Australia and just got released here too, although Poker Face is only now hitting radio. And, for some reason I don’t really understand, there’s a new video for Love Game as well; it’s a noble addition to the thriving sub-genre of videos with gratuitious placement for Campari.
(The Campari group, it should be noted, owns Skyy vodka, so the Absolut ads attached to those Youtube videos are unrelated and, I guess, contradictory to the product placement itself.)
The Pet Shop Boys got the lifetime achievement award at the Brits last night. I miss when the Brit Awards used to be broadcast on ABC in the middle of the night; had they never done that, I might never have titled a video “Man Does Not Create. He Discovers” after a projection behind the Manic Street Preachers’ 1996 performance of A Design For Life. And, I guess, the world might have been spared the world’s most pretentious-ever video title. (Footage from the Manics’ performance doesn’t seem to exist online, sadly, but here’s the original video, which I’d never seen then because things like Youtube didn’t exist in the nineties.)
Here’s the Pet Shop Boys, assisted–I guess assisted would be the word–by Lady GaGa and Killers frontman Brandon Flowers. It’s long, but good:
After the jump, more PSB action:
