Filed under: gay, heterosexuals, movies, music, porn | Tags: automats, billboard, bruno, buying music in a store, casey kasem, comics, condoms, levi johnston, porn, sex, shakira, shaving, solange, south africa, swimmers, the dalai lama
[ed. note: Today is the end of SoundSession, Providence's biggest music festival. There's music all day and into the night, and a parade, and basically I'm pre-booking tomorrow as a hangover day. So you're getting your news delivered early, you lucky so-and-sos!]
Levi Johnston gave his thoughts about Sarah Palin’s resignation, which, whatever, but whoever decided to place him in an enormous swivel chair in front of a million books deserves three raises.
Americans aren’t so sure what sex is.
Casey Kasem, who I’d probably call my hero if anybody ever asked me who my hero was, is stepping down from the mic (again).
Choire Sicha’s thoughts about Bruno almost make me kind of want to see it. Even though Dreamy David Rakoff thinks it’s bad for the gays.
Carnal Nation reports on condoms and porn.
There’s only one thing I read more than blog posts about why sex work isn’t necessarily a sign of desperation. And that’s blog posts about the relative merits of people buying v. sharing their music.
Male swimmers shaving each other is fine, I guess, for practical reasons, but the massive push for men to shave everything is really bringing me down. (See also.)
Louisiana’s Southern University is feeling the Solange.
There’s more to South African music than you might know.
The Dalai Lama made a surprise appearance in Apartment 3-G yesterday. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the strip (we don’t have it in Providence) but it’s the only strip I’ve enjoyed for the past, oh, decade or so. (Occasional individual Get Fuzzy and Rex Morgan strips aside.)
A big trend this week is people who know nothing about the Billboard album chart complaining about the Billboard album chart.
Finally, National Geographic offers tips on how to make homemade food that tastes like it was the opposite of homemade.
Filed under: copouts, gay, heterosexuals, hookers, magazines, music, not hot, personal, porn, shameless self-promotion | Tags: hookers, pride, sarah palin, books, porn, drake, rubber soul, punk, marketing, records, paris hilton, dubai, bikinis, tender morsels, y?n-vee, terrible band names, kerry washington, transsexuals, crack, chairs, self-promotion
I didn’t have enough links on Sunday for a wrap-up. But boy is there a lot to talk about now! Sorry about that!
Romance novels can be written by smart women! This article made me want to try my hand at it, too, even though, you know, I’m a man and don’t really read romance novels.
AAG responds to a letter by a guy concerned about the ethics of watching porn. Nothing new to people that read about this all the time, but pretty interesting anyway. I like the idea that some people think of it as performance art. [via Debauched Domestic Diva]
Drake, the Degrassi star/rapper/general annoyance, is (thankfully) doing his part to revive the jimmy-wrapping era of hip-hop. [via Idolator]
Punk. It’s a lot like social media, you know?
A Russian woman can lift 14kg with her vagina muscles. That’s one of those articles that make me wonder about how, exactly, the newspapers got wind of the story.
FiveThirtyEight mentions Sarah Palin’s resignation, commenters start hurling insults.
Bitch Magazine continues to be really juvenile and irritating. Now they’re offended because Paris Hilton hired Middle Eastern cultural experts before she started filming her new TV show in Dubai, as though that’s a bad thing. Also they don’t like that she wore a bikini to go swimming. Which, since Dubai is 82% foreigners, is actually both legal and fairly ordinary common (and probably got the OK from her cultural advisors.) [via Natalia Antonova]
Australian writer Margo Lanagan’s new Tender Morsels is causing a big to-do in Britain . The updated version of Snow White and Rose Red, which is actually intended for children, includes a gang-rape scene, a detailed description of a miscarriage, and in its very first paragraph has a sex scene between a witch and a dwarf. [via Bookslut]
UPDATE: The second I hit send The Book Bench also posted about this. Apparently the book’s been out in the US since October and nobody here paid it any mind at all.
At some point in my complaining about stupid 3oh!3 and their stupid name, I remembered early nineties r&b girl group Y?N-Vee, who weren’t really any good either but who at least didn’t make Helen Keller jokes in their songs. Though the chorus to their song Satisfaction did have a really awkward line about how “it melts in your mouth and not in your hands.”
Kerry Washington will be playing a cracked-out transsexual hooker in Life Is Hot In Cracktown, and it may or may not be the first time a black biological female actress plays a trans character on film. (On TV it’s happened a bunch of times before, oddly, at least according to the comments on that post.) [via Clay Cane]
Studio 360 came up with some ideas for a new Gay Pride flag. My favorite was the squares one, because it re-instituted the turquoise and pink–symbolizing art and sex–that were taken out of the real Pride flag in the past. Also, it reminds me of the new Pet Shop Boys album.
Charles and Ray Eames debuting a new chair on NBC in 1956. [via Joe Gebbia's Posterous]
And, finally, my 1000th Tumblr post went up about fifteen minutes ago. Trying to do something memorable/milestone-y, I went with a photo I shot myself, though it’s not a self-portrait so don’t get your hopes up.
Filed under: gay, porn, starfucking | Tags: fictional character starfucking, opportunities, poorly crafted filth
Several years ago, too broke to buy Christmas gifts, I wrote my best friend a novel. It’s true! But not just any novel, mind you. A pornographic Hardy Boys novel! When we stopped living together, he made a point of leaving behind any gifts I had given him in the past, and the other day I found the only physical copy of the book. It’s in manuscript form, and I had it done at Kinko’s, which means (of course) that it’s a little fucked up and one chapter starts twice and there’s some blank pages in the middle for no reason. But hey, whatever!
Anyway, the book is no good to me and actually pretty embarrassing and frankly I wouldn’t mind getting it out of my life. But if you’ve ever wanted to read about violent bathroom stall sex, brother-on-brother whoopie, or a mystery woman based loosely around Goldie Hawn’s character in Housesitter, send me something dirty. A story, some photos, something you drew on a napkin, whatever. It can be your creation or someone else’s, although if it’s someone else’s I’m going to want documentation of where you got it from (who wrote it, photographed it, whatever.) Whoever sends me the most interesting thing by next Monday at 5pm wins. E-mail your entries to yurigellerbentme@gmail.com
Filed under: heterosexuals, people from rhode island, porn | Tags: jackasses, stormy daniels
Adult entertainer Stormy Daniels came to Providence this weekend to perform at the exceptionally turquoise Club Fantasies. I’ve never actually been inside there, for some reason, even though my boyfriend works about two blocks from there and I used to have friends living across the street and I drive by it every day and also I really like strip clubs. But anyway, if I hadn’t been getting working all night I might have rallied and made it over there.
Except that I guess it didn’t end up so fun. Here’s what Stormy just posted on her Twitter (which I started following after rumors spread this spring that she might run for a Louisiana Senate seat):
Yeah. Way to keep it classy, Providence.
Filed under: books, gay, heterosexuals, hot, magazines, not hot, porn | Tags: hiv, sarah palin, books, porn, commercials, murder, david letterman, matt lauer, sex trafficking, wrestlers, assholes, meteorites, le tigre, christina aguilera, steven klein, the jews
The Sarah Palin-David Letterman feud fascinates me; the Alaska governor told Matt Lauer all about girls having low self-esteem because of comments made by older men, which maybe isn’t necessarily wrong, exactly, but holy shit does she have a horrific way of conveying her ideas. Also I don’t believe she ever thought he was talking about her fourteen-year old daughter. And it’s completely unfair to claim that Obama’s family got away with shying away from media scrutiny and her family didn’t, since the Palins actively sought it out; also the Obama children aren’t working examples of why his political stance is flawed. Letterman’s response to Palin’s insanity was extremely well-handled and actually pretty funny, considering the subject matter.
The Curvature reports on a horrific story about a father and son who kidnapped women and held them hostage as sex slaves; when they were finally arrested recently in Nashville the three women–at least one of whom had not seen freedom in several years–were all booked on marijuana possession charges.
The two Nebraska wrestlers that appeared on naked-dude website Fratmen.com said in an ESPN interview that they’re surprised anybody even found out what they had done. That’s the cute-ish Paul Donohoe pictured up at the top of this post.
A Fox News writer in a speeding SUV hit a cyclist in Central Park and dragged him on his hood for 200 feet before speeding off.
A 14-year old was hit by a pea-sized meteorite traveling at about 30,000 miles per hour.
Le Tigre are apparently not broken up, and apparently they’re not completely mired in the major-label bullshit they for some reason seemed really anxious to get into, but they are working with Christina Aguilera. Personally, I’m hoping this results in Xtina covering The The Empty.
After working out, choosy robots choose instant mashed potatoes.
Timothy Boham, who performed in gay porn under the name Marcus Allen, was found guilty of murder the other day. His lawyers had argued that the victim, Denver businessmen JP Kelso, had committed suicide, and that the murder scene was staged later to collect insurance money.
Perez Hilton leaked naked pictures of a drug-addled-looking Dustin Lance Black barebacking and giving somebody a blowjob. As with Milk, the film that made Black famous, I was largely unimpressed. Even though I thought this warranted a mention, I still can’t bring myself to link to Perez Hilton.
Towleroad reports on Steven Klein’s new cover for Electric Youth magazine. I have no idea how big EY is, that it can afford to send a famous fashion photographer to South America to shoot something like this, but the whole thing sort of gives me the willies.
A porn performer tested positive for HIV recently; the LA Times wrote a story with conflicting ideas about what that might mean for the industry.
“Like Jews elsewhere, the four represented varying degrees of Jewishness.”
Last summer I decided only to read Harlequin romances when I went to the beach, and I started with one called The Virgin And The Unicorn, which was about a princess and a boxer with meaty thighs who wanted to open a home for wayward children in her evil father’s castle. This year, I think I might have to investigate Tess Mallory, who writes time-travel romances about Scottish rogues.
Filed under: gay, heterosexuals, hot, magazines, movies, porn | Tags: arson, clue, madonna, maine, michael cera, models, national geographic, porn, portland, public access, slap magazine, the gays, the martinez brothers, va$htie
The Grand View Topless Coffee Bar in Vassalboro, Maine, mysteriously burned down the other day. The owners didn’t have any insurance and it’s unlikely to reopen.
Fashion modeling can be creepsville. Which isn’t really surprising, but still.
Ben Greenman wrote an article for Maud Newton on Portland’s abundance of both writers and strippers. Unrelatedly, but worth mentioning, is that I only just noticed Oregon (and South Carolina) have both passed Rhode Island in terms of unemployment.
Andrew from Synthetic Pubes/Fuck Yeah Cilantro has an article on Filthy Gorgeous Things about the state of porn today. I have more to say about this, but probably won’t ever get around to it.
Here’s a map (it’s a pdf) of lesbian and gay rights in the world.
The Utne Reader reports on robots that can play Clue and possibly work as minesweepers. If I were ever going to play something against a robot, it would definitely be Clue. And if I were ever going to be a crazed collector of something, it would be Clue boards and ephemera.
Slap Magazine, though it (sadly) doesn’t exist in print form anymore, is still doing some pretty cool stuff online, like this portfolio of skate photographer Brian Gaberman.
The awesome Martinez Brothers got a really good write-up in the Times the other day.
If you join National Geographic’s Twitter (@natgeosociety) you get a subscription offer of $1/issue. Which I would totally do, if I actually had twelve dollars right now (I don’t.)
This dude talking about Madonna’s Till Death Do Us Part–a song I’ve been hearing a lot lately–is kind of hilarious, in an awkward public access dude way.
Michael Cera turns 21 today. Now I can legally fantasize about plying him with liquor before having my filthy way with him. Because, and I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating, Michael Cera is ridiculously, mysteriously hot. (Though I say that as someone who has seen a total of about ten minutes of Arrested Development, so he was actually nineteen (in Superbad) the first time I ever really noticed him. Which is, you know, less creepy than if I liked him when Arrested Development started six years ago)
My busy schedule has led to, among other things, a significant decline in my Tumblarity. Now I’m only as popular as Fuck Yeah Va$htie. (Va$htie being, if you didn’t know, the girl who directed the new Kid Cudi video. Pardon me while I yawn a lot.)
Filed under: gay, heterosexuals, hookers, hot, music, not hot, people from rhode island, personal, porn | Tags: 2010, colors, dragonette, google, melody gardot, new zealand, porn, robyn, sexcrime (two thousand nine), size queens, teairra mari
Or, things I saw on the internet this week but didn’t write posts about:
Russian man gets penis enlarged by three inches, then changes mind when the chicks don’t dig it. [via The Edge of Vanilla]
New Dragonette! New Dragonette! New Dragonette! [via, oddly, Sexual Ambiguities]
My new favorite Tumblr. Mainly because its very first post (two months ago) is still possibly the best.
Is your Jason Mraz lyrics?! [via My Ecdysis]
This interpolation of I Got Your Man makes no sense, and does nothing to change my feeling that Robyn peaked creatively in 1996. The Girl and the Robot’s growing on me, though, but it has little to do with her and everything to do with Royksopp.
There’s a new site for the 2010 New York Sexbloggers calendar. Coincidentally, I just got around to hanging up my 2009 calendar this past week. Hopefully the ‘10 edition will be more practical and not fill up every single box with messages. (I forgot about two events I was supposed to go to today and no matter how many times I try Google calendar just isn’t my thing. Arggh.) [via Debauched Domestic Diva]
In New Zealand, a “sexual appetite” is akin to having a “dark side.” I mean, I’ve seen Once Were Warriors, but Jesus. (Actually, this is an article about an escort who fell in love with one of her clients and then killed him when she caught him with another woman. Tawdry!) [via $pread]
The Ivor Novello Awards, which are British awards for songwriting, were presented on Thursday. The Ting Tings, somewhat surprisingly, won for Best Album. [via This Is Fake DIY]
This is quite possibly the sleaziest porn I’ve ever seen. Just hearing 30 seconds of that music gave me a popper headache, and by the end I felt like I should be puking Jager. [via Sperm My Cumhole]
Teairra Mari’s new single has a video with terrible acting at the beginning and a crazy neon paint towards the end. The song’s chorus sounds like it should be a sample, but isn’t. It’s kind of an anti-chorus, really.
I really like Melody Gardot’s old-timey video for Baby I’m A Fool. At first I was thinking she sounded like Adele, but then I realized the song just sounds like jazz for old people. In other words, I feel like a big lamewad for liking it as much as I do.
OK, off to shower. If you’re in Providence, there’s a fair chance you’ll see me dancing at Xanadon’t tonight. That is, if I can convince the BF to leave the house.
It’s prom season, which means there’s tons of stories about puritanical schools forbidding somebody or other from going to the prom, as though one silly dance is going to unravel twelve years of rigid teachings. This one’s from Ohio, where a boy was told by his Baptist school that he couldn’t go to his girlfriend’s public school prom. As usual, I’m sort of fascinated by this, while at the same time not really understanding why it’s newsworthy. [via The Edge of Vanilla]
Amazing hetero porn acting and dialogue. [via Bad Bad Girl]
My site traffic is waaaaaaaaaay up today. Hi, new people!
I remember this PSA for water conservation featuring Fozzie Bear, but didn’t remember the one with Miss Piggy saving electricity. [via Shameless]
Not to feed into the Carrie Prejean hysteria, but people genuinely don’t seem to realize that she would go away within minutes if everybody just stopped constantly announcing that they wish she would go away. Even Keith Olbermann is doing it, which is silly because previously my advice was to just tell people to stop reading Perez Hilton. [via nyc.dncr.boy]
Mariko Passion has an interesting post up about sex work and overdraft fees, the latter of which I’m a little overly familiar with.
Two-thirds of (a very small sample of) Londoners aged 16-24 are having unprotected sex, and over 70% aren’t worried about STIs. I don’t think I need to draw a Venn Diagram for you to realize that at least thirty percent of Londoners aged 16-24 are really stupid. [via Facts and Friction]
Transsexuality will no longer be classified as a mental illness in France. [via Bird of Paradox]
Pro-choicers are now a minority in the US. [via Echidne of the Snakes]
Filed under: gay, heterosexuals, hookers, hot, music, not hot, porn | Tags: 33 1/3, craigslist, links, malcolm middleton, porn, rihanna, sex, the pet shop boys
Some Firefox tabs I’ve had open for days now that I’m never going to write full posts about:
1. The Daily Beast has a guide to escorting on Craigslist; apparently Craigslist is something a lot of people didn’t know existed.
2. The fact that nobody buys albums anymore occasionally leads to pleasant surprises like the Pet Shop Boys having their highest-charting album in sixteen years.
3. Stereogum has some new Malcolm Middleton, though it may be his last for a while.
4. Most of the 33 1/3 books I’ve actually read are the poorest-performing ones, saleswise. (I’m still bitter about them not accepting my Faith proposal, though.)
5. If that nudey new video by hipster duo Matt & Kim doesn’t do anything for you, you might want to check out Matt & Khym, this hetero couple that made a dirty movie together in 2007. Matt’s kind of a fox, although I can’t say I like the tattoo or the earrings. I do like how this was shot, however. Also, when do you ever get to see people fucking that have known each other for twenty years?
6. Melissa Gira Grant proposes dismantling the internet’s red light district. She’ll be talking about it at Sex 2.0, the feminist sex conference coming up in DC next weekend (which I kind of wanted to go to, though not as much as the Pop Conference in Seattle that just happened.)
7. Curation: Possibly a dead concept (or at least one people don’t need an MFA for anymore.)
8. LA cops took all of the jewelry Rihanna was wearing ($1.4 million worth) the night Chris Brown was arrested. I know that was the night of the Grammys and she wasn’t, you know, on her way to Target or anything, but good Lord is that a lot of money. And, you know, something that didn’t need to be seized as evidence, especially as it was all loaned.
I’m sure this isn’t your go-to place for twink porn–and if it is, I’m really sorry to disappoint you so regularly–but I just stumbled across this movie on Boypost that’s really steamy and old and German (I think?) and I couldn’t not share it. It’s called Homework and it’s about, you know, three boys that get distracted while doing their homework together. There’s something about the poor film quality and bleached-out blue look that I’m really drawn to, though in general hair-deprived teenagers do nothing for me in the arousal department.
Click here to see it on Xtube. (I decided not to embed it, in case you’re one of the people that come here for discussions about Republica, though I’m putting a dirty still after the jump, so be warned.)
