This Tuesday, September 15th, I’m doing a reading with the fabulous Justin Hall.  It’s my first ever reading in Providence, which is kind of exciting but also kind of scary because, you know, I’ll actually know a large chunk of the audience.  And also all of my stories are about awful sex that I’ve had.  This might be fun?  Or I might just throw up.

We’re doin’ it at the Homestead, which is where the Dark Lady was until last month.  124 Snow Street.  9pm.

[image: the cover of J.F.Killer, Justin's new comic, starring Glamazonia the Uncanny Super Tranny.]

Yesterday I was the featured model on the 2011 Sex Blogger Calendar website.  I think it’s the first time I’ve ever been a “featured model” anywhere because, you know, this calendar is also my first time modeling anything.

But hey, there’s just ten days left for you to support the Woodhull Freedom Foundation by purchasing a day in the 2011 calendar .  For $25 you get 80 characters of text that can go on any one day of the calendar.  For $40 you can also get a copy of the calendar.  And for $100 you can purchase five days.  It’s a good investment if you’ve got a business you want to promote, a blog you want to hype, or if you just want send out a personal message to someone.

Plus there’s perks!

I will make you a mixtape if you enter the word MIXTAPE in the notes area when you check out, and a bunch of the other bloggers are also offering incentives:  you can get a tour of New York nightlife with calendar organizers Tess and Diva, signed photos from Dangerous Lilly and Sadie, an exclusive party invite from Lillith Grey,  and one of Brandon B‘s jockstraps.  Plus calendar sponsor MauiKink is offering a 15% discount to those who buy five days.  So, do it.

Also, this is like ten thousand years away, but mark your calendars:  October 1 is the calendar release date, and there’s a party in New York at Fontana’s on the Lower East Side.  I was there for last year’s party and it was super fun [see above]!

What’s the most exciting thing that happened today?  A new adult studio releasing the trailer for a Roseanne-themed porn movie, where Jackie has long hair and DJ is a fully-grown man who is away at school?  No, that’s not it.  Is it Liza Minelli covering “Single Ladies”?  Nope, not that either.

No, the most exciting thing to happen today is that Headmaster passed its Kickstarter goal.  We’re now 101% funded, which means that the magazine will for sure be happening.  It also means that we can stop focusing on financing and start focusing exclusively on assembling the best content possible.

That said, you can still pledge for a few more weeks.  Get a Headmaster T-shirt!  Or a lunch date with us!  Or a disposable camera pre-filled with images that we shot just for you! Extra money will allow us to cover shipping up front and also pay our contributors.

I am so excited!  Although it’s all happening so fast I feel like this party shouldn’t be for another six weeks yet…

Poster B after the jump!

The good news is that in the first ten days, our Kickstarter page for Headmaster has raised 61% of the money we need to make this happen!  The bad news is that in our first seven days, our Kickstarter page reached 61% of our goal and for the last three days we’ve gotten diddly-squat, as it were. And now I’m worried that we might be running out of steam a little, although I’m sure that’s just premature panic, because we’re over 3/5 towards our initial goal and only 1/8 through the pledge period…

Promoting things on the internet is kind of a challenge, especially when you’re promoting things to your friends and, in my case, sometimes promoting several different things at once.  I don’t want to bombard people with daily reminders on the blog, the Twitter, the Facebook, and the two Tumblrs, especially if people don’t have any money to pledge–because believe me, I understand the broke thing–but also I don’t want to miss out on any folks who might be interested in pitching in to make this happen.

So.

This is just a humble reminder that you can access our secret blog for just $1, pre-order a copy of the magazine for $20, and reap all kinds of other rewards–t-shirts! prints! photos! lunch!–with bigger donations.  And seriously, every single dollar helps.  And hey, maybe you could even mention it to some of your friends.

It’s my first-ever publicity photo!  My friend Jorge Urena was nice enough to shoot this for me the other night, while we were putting together a photo for this other thing.  If you ever want to interview me or book me for your event–which is not entirely unheard of?–then this image will surely be what I send you for the press kit, or whatever.

So, I have a problem.

I am constantly (or, okay, occasionally) sending out story pitches and ideas for projects to people I don’t actually know, because up to this point most of the stuff I’ve written has been on a very local level and I’m trying to branch out.  And, for some reason, every e-mail I send it almost exactly the same, even though the strategy never ever works and also it’s not a strategy so much as this thing I inadvertently do a lot.  But here’s the gist of every e-mail, more or less:

Hi!  You don’t know me, but that’s okay!  You have no reason to know me, as I am a tedious and provincial person who is unremarkable in basically every way.  Actually, forget I’m even sending this to you.  I AM SO BORING AND FULL OF TERRIBLE IDEAS.

Yours truly,

Perhaps not surprisingly, this never works.  Because I am trying to find jobs, not trying to audition for The Promise Ring.  I just did this again not twenty minutes ago, completely without meaning to, and as I clicked the Send button I was immediately overtaken with fear and self-loathing and a wish for an Unsend button.

This is a problem.  In a small city like Providence, one gets writing jobs mostly by talking to people in person, because most people here know most other people here.  I’m really bad at the networking thing, too, because I talk really slowly and don’t remember faces, but I actually do get some freelance jobs that way.  And that’s fine.  But Providence is a small city and there are only so many writing gigs out there (particularly with our unemployment rate being what it is…)  And despite every word that comes out of my typing fingers, I actually am sort of ambitious about these things.

I’m actually kind of at a loss.  It’s not a question of getting rejection letters–that I’m fine with–but it’s a matter of accidentally being completely self-defeatist.  I feel like I need some sort of e-mail life coach.  Or maybe just some advice about unsolicited pitch letters.

Blah blah me me me me blah.

(image)

Yes it is, and here’s Mr. Pop himself.  Listen to it live.  I may sound like I’m talking even slower than usual, but it’s kind of tech-related, or logistical, or whatever.  Sorry about that.

My countdown of the week’s forty biggest/best pop hits picks up again tomorrow for a new season.  New time:  10 a.m. EST.  Listen here, and check out the blog for updates.

See the guy in this video?  The one typing in the cafe about Mr. Scragglebones? He’s totally reading a story that I wrote. Actually, it’s the story that I read last month at Sex Worker Literati, and it’s going to be appearing in this awesome new book of completely unerotic sex stories. That means that a) I’m actually going to be in a real published book (!!!) and b) I can now not-dishonestly say that an actor has portrayed me. (!!!!!!)

Meaghan O’Connell and Melissa Gira Grant, who are putting the book together, are financing it through Formspring, which is this neato fundraising platform for financing creative projects. And these ladies want your money! No, really, they do. There’s all kinds of pledge levels, and the more you give the more you get (Gchats! A story written just for you! Other things I can’t exactly remember right now!)

The concept’s already going over like hotcakes; it’s raised over $2,000 just today.