The dominatrix reads tonight! As do the escort, the stripper, the rentboy and the porn store clerk.*
Sorry I’ve been such a Negligent Nevil with this blog lately. But I just wanted to remind you that tonight–tonight!–I’ll be reading in Providence with the fabulous Audacia Ray, the fabulous Melissa Gira Grant, the fabulous Maria Diaz, the fabulous Lola D. Sorrow, and the fabulous Will Vail. It will all be very fabulous, and we will [tentatively] tell you all the things you need to know about fisting firefighters, Madonna, what to do when someone else’s erection interrupts your workday. As this is only my second-ever reading in Providence, I am not sure which story I’m going to actually tell, and may sort of let the composition of the audience dictate whether it will be a gross story about bad sex or a very gross story about bad sex.
We’re Here To Help
65 Eddy Street
Providence RI
9pm
free!
[*Well, former escort, former stripper, former rentboy...]
3am, still awake. Annoyed, annoyed, annoyed. This video is helping, though. I have no idea who The Twins are, I just stumbled across this after falling down a deep K-hole of Eurodisco videos.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: born this way, downloads, lady gaga, me me me me me, slowness
And by special I mean tedious.
Lady Gaga’s new album came out today, and Amazon is selling it for $0.99, and I am downloading it! This is remarkable, because I’ve never actually bought an entire mp3 album before. Ever. Because I live in the past, mostly, and because I’ve never really felt the need to, but also because I’ve switched computers enough times over the years that I know how easily things get lost.
I’ve had some troubles, though, as you can see above. At first I (somehow) downloaded the single instead of the whole album, and now that I’m downloading the whole album (via Amazon’s downloader thing, which it forces you to install) there’s been a number of errors. Plus I’ve been doing this for like half an hour now and I only have five songs downloaded. Probably I could have walked to the mall and bought the thing and listened to half of it already, plus had a physical copy of the kind-of-awful-kind-of-fabulous cover art.
In the meantime, I’m trying to install 100Mb of updates to Word, to open a .docx file that I swear was not a .docx file the last time I saw it. But that process is also being very slow, so I’m just sort of killing time here while I wait for that part of my life to be over.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Missing the final tomorrow because I am getting on a plane in, um, five hours, but here’s what I’d like to see (assuming the production of the Big 5 numbers reflect their overall song quality…):
1. Serbia
2. Germany
3. Slovenia
4. Bosnia
5. Moldova
6. Italy
7. Austria
8. France
9. Iceland
10. Azerbaijan
And ideally Denmark, Finland, Switzerland and Ireland would all go home with 0 points.
Filed under: Uncategorized
1. Magdalena Tul – Poland
2. Stella Mwangi – Norway
3. Aurela Gace – Albania
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: albania, armenia, eurovision 2011, germany, poland, serbia, slovenia
The Eurovision Song Contest is little more than a week away, and I think I’ve been remiss so far in letting you know who my favorites are. Unfortunately I’ll be missing the televised final this year, although actually it’s not that unfortunate since I’m going to be on a plane to The Big Easy to celebrate my 30th birthday. Nevertheless! I’ve watched the videos for all 43 entries and, while I was initially kind of disappointed in the overall quality of this year’s contestants, I’ve come to like about half of this year’s 43 contestants. After the jump, my top six:
As of today we’ve officially sent copies of Headmaster to 26 of the 50 states. That’s over half! Now I guess I should concentrate on the Deep South, the Dakotas and the Rockies. And Delaware, the only state in the North(ish)east where we haven’t traveled yet.
Woke up on Thursday and actually made the 6:30am Megabus, roughly three and a half hours after finishing the story I was scheduled to read that evening. This time, unlike last time, there were no Brown students on the bus speaking in really loud “conversational” voices about their favorite subway systems of Europe or about how it burned when they accidentally squirt hand sanitizer in their vaginas.
Got to New York around 11. Wandered around Chelsea, which has hilariously become the part of NYC I know best. Peed at Starbucks, looked at some art and some clothing, and then worked my way south. Stopped at Bookmarc to say hi and check on the magazine. Succeeded (against all odds) at not buying half the store. Stopped at McNally Jackson and somehow managed not to buy half the store. Went to the Housingworks Bookstore (and Cafe) and miraculously didn’t try to buy half the store. Went to the Clic Gallery bookstore and you get the idea.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Readers!
I wanted to let you know about a new story-writing mini-enterprise I am starting, which is only going to run through the month of February. Since I’m hesitant to place ads on this site–or on any of my blogs, for that matter–I thought it would be better to try my hand at being entrepreneurial and vaguely pledge drive-y. So.
Here is the deal:
For $10, I will send you a 1,000 word dirty story, written by me. You will get your choice of whether you want the story to be non-fiction (ie. about something that really happened to me) or fiction (ie. about something that didn’t really happen to me.) I will mail a hand-stapled copy of the story to wherever you live, provided you live in the US. (If you don’t live in the US, it’s $14, just to cover international shipping.) There will only be ten copies of each story printed, and I won’t be publishing them anywhere else. (If I get more than ten fiction orders or ten non-fiction orders I will be writing more than one story.) Your story will be mailed within two weeks of your order.
I hope that whatever your plans are for tonight, they at least slightly resemble this video.
See you all in 2K11.
ps: Don’t drink and drive! Like for real.
